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Snow in the south is like orange juice and toothpaste...they don't go together.

30 January 2014

It snowed like an inch here in NC on Tuesday evening. Everyone went into panic mode. The county sent all of the kids home from school early, and then they closed the schools yesterday (Wednesday) and today as well. Hilarious, but hey, Kyler didn't have to go to preschool, and I didn't have to go to work yesterday, we only go part-time anyways, but we didn't complain!
We loved spending the whole day at home together- it's been a while since we've had a day like that with no errands to run, no gym, and no other places to be! Maybe we'll get lucky and get another "snow" day soon? One can wish.

The Friendship Phase

29 January 2014

Kyler has been busy developing little friendships these past few months. He's always been more of a solo player, so this phase is new! He talks about his friends all day at home, and is always asking if they can come over to our house to play, or if he can go to their houses. He has chosen some pretty cute little friends to be best buds with! One of his favorite school friends had a birthday party this past weekend. Kyler won't stop talking about how much fun he had.

It was a perfect little party for a three year old! I think we will plan a similar one for Kyler's next birthday. 

I think the way Kyler eats is hilarious. Most kids his age could care less if they get food on their hands/faces while eating...but Kyler? He has to eat neatly. He uses utensils instead of his hands (he even eats pizza and hot dogs with a fork!) and always has to have a napkin near by, heaven forbid he gets a crumb on his lip. Sorry for the blurry picture, I was trying out a new camera lens, (I obviously don't know what I'm doing) but you get the idea:

I can't get enough of this stage! 

These best buds are toooo cute!

Eating popcorn (according to my 3 year old)

23 January 2014

I was looking through old pictures today, when I came across a picture from 2012 of Kyler eating I got this idea that I should replicate the picture- now that it is exactly 2 years later! So, I put a bag of popcorn on the counter and snapped a few pictures of the were the resulting moments:

 is the picture comparison from 2012 and 2014!
I can't believe how fast my baby boy is growing up!

First time bowling and first train ride

20 January 2014

First of all, I wanted to say thank you so so SO much for all of the support ya'll have shown me the last few days from Part 1 of The Journey. I can't count the number of my personal friends who have reached out to me to show their support. Whether it was in person, or through blogger comments/text messages/emails "likes" on facebook etc... thank you so much- it means a lot to me. I am so lucky to have friends that care.

Now, back to my normal blogging routine :)

Every Saturday in January (on our calendar) is filled with Kyler's friend's birthday parties. He is one popular kid! The weekend before last, Kyler went bowling for the first time. I only have this one blurry pic from my phone....He had fun though!

This past weekend, another one of Kyler's little friends had a birthday at the NC transportation museum. Kyler got to experience his first real train ride. He loved it!

After we rode on the train, the kids ate cupcakes and then we got to tour the inside of old train cars- they were pretty cool.

Our next birthday party (on Saturday) will be for Kyler's best buddy from his school- he can't wait!

Life is good.

A Journey (part 1) -- A Story Untold.

16 January 2014

"When do you think you guys are going to have another kid? Isn't Kyler already 3 now?"

"Isn't it about time for Kyler to be getting little brother or sister? When do you think you'll have another?" 

"Do you guys want any more kids?"  
  I get asked these questions (and variations) on average 2-3 times a week. Some people would call these types of questions "ridiculous" to quote one of my friends, but I actually don't mind people asking me. I feel like they are very normal questions to have, and besides, I ask my friends these questions too! Instead of responding with a joke like I normally do, today I've decided to be more open about it on my blog. I'm about to get deep. Get ready.

Because this topic has been on my mind for quite some time now (and I have a lot to say about it) I have decided to add a new page to my blog titled "A Journey".  Meaning, a journey towards expanding our family. I want this blog to reflect my life- not only the good things and celebrations, but the trials too, and how I've overcome them. This new page is composed of many parts, and this particular part (post) has been sitting in my "drafts" for over a year. This journey isn't an easy one, and I would love for my friends and family (and my blog readers) to understand what we have been going through and to support us. No words can describe how devastating it is to lose a baby during pregnancy, but writing all of this down helps me clear my mind.

 While this topic is somewhat personal, I feel that it is one that isn't talked about enough. One in five pregnancies end in a miscarriage, and it is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. {but if this topic does make you uncomfortable, you should probably skip this post. I promise I won't be offended.}

For those of you that are still reading, let's get started.... back to that day:
October 28, 2012

Miscarriage. It's always been a word that I hated the sound of....ever since I heard the word for the first time... let alone experienced it.

I decided to title this post "A Story Untold"...because until now (insert whatever date today is for you, because I have no idea when I will publish this post to the blog) I haven't shared this experience with very many. For me, today is October 28, 2012.

 These past two weeks have been the most traumatic weeks of my life, and the reason I'm going to wait so long to actually publish this post is because I need time to heal both emotionally and physically. In August of this year (2012) I got a positive pregnancy test! Jared and I were ecstatic.  Kyler was going to be a big brother! Our children were going to be 2.5 years apart, which we felt was perfect.

A few weeks later, I had a friend that announced her pregnancy publicly on Facebook the moment she got the positive mark on the stick. I was a little shocked that she would announce something like that so early, after all, what if she miscarried? I was further along than her, and I definitely planned on waiting until that "past the first trimester danger zone." The same friend said in a group setting a few days later (not knowing that I was pregnant or listening to her say this) something along the lines of "I think it is so sad that women wait to share the news of a pregnancy because of a fear of miscarriage. We need the support from our friends and family during times of celebration, AND during times of mourning." I agreed with her to an extent, but personally I felt like it would be a lot easier to heal emotionally (if I ever did have a miscarriage) if I could avoid awkward conversations by having to tell people what happened. So I kept my secret safe and only told family members (and 3 or 4 other friends), and kindly asked them to keep it private within the family until we were ready. We had our first doctors appointment at 9 weeks in September. Everything looked great, and we were given the due date of April 28, 2013!

The first twelve weeks came and went. Hurray! We had made it through the first trimester!! I thought about and planned how we would announce our pregnancy to the rest of the world. We had our announcement pictures taken at the beach under the pier at sunset. It was almost Halloween, so Jared, Kyler, and I each had a pumpkin in front of us with our names written on them in black sharpie. We also had an additional little pumpkin with a question mark written on it (symbolizing baby #2!) We were adding another little pumpkin to our family!

We were so excited. A few days after these pictures were taken, we were going to have our first 2nd trimester ultrasound done, so we decided to wait- just for the heck of it- until after that doctors appointment before announcing our pregnancy to the rest of the world. 

When we walked into the doctor's office, we met our ultrasound technician- a nice lady with a sweet soft voice and heavy southern accent. She put the warm gel on my belly, and I looked up at the screen. She paused for a moment, and my mouth went dry. I knew something wasn't right. I stared up at the screen at my baby's perfect body, two little arms and two little legs. Motionless. She asked me how far along I was. I replied 12.5 weeks. She said, "I'm sorry but you see here...this baby is just not measuring the size it is supposed to be, it is smaller." I continued to stare at my baby on the ultrasound screen, not moving.

I hoped that we had just miscalculated how far along I should be or that maybe there was a slight genetic disorder that we could deal with- but I knew deep down that the baby was gone, before she even said it. The ultrasound technician continued to fumble with the machine trying everything she could to get a movement, and kept muttering "I'm so sorry."

Meanwhile, my mind instantly flashed back to three weeks prior- we sang a hymn at church called "Come Unto Jesus".  During that song, I felt the spirit so strong, and felt a connection with our baby. My eyes filled with tears that day, and I decided that I would sing this song to our baby as a lullaby before bed every night. As my mind flashed back to that memory, I wondered if that was exact moment that the baby's heart had stopped beating.

Then she put the fetal stethoscope on my belly and said "You see? We should be able to hear a heart beat."


 I swear that was the loudest silence I ever heard in my life.  She continued to tell me how sorry she was and how "I was the third person this morning she had to deliver this sad news to" and all I could do was nod my head and attempt to hold back my tears, frantically trying to control my emotions. Jared was sitting across the room holding our almost 2 year old. I remember the exact moment his facial expression changed...he understood. A millisecond later he was by my side holding my hand. The ultrasound technician quickly finished her measurements with the ultrasound and said "I'll go get your doctor sweetie, I'm so sorry."

We talked with my doctor. I had absolutely no symptoms of a miscarriage ( no cramping or bleeding, no loss of pregnancy symptoms). In fact, I still felt very pregnant and still had all of my pregnancy symptoms. My body hadn't realized that the baby had stopped developing and continued to carry the pregnancy. I had never heard of this happening before, but apparently it can sometimes. It is called a silent or missed miscarriage. Because my body was showing no symptoms of naturally miscarrying on its' own (about a month after it should have), we decided to have a D and E procedure (surgery) done at the hospital in a few days. The doctor told me this way my body could heal more quickly, and I wouldn't have to go through the pain of having a miscarriage. I held all of my emotions in while talking with the doctor.

Once we made it to our car in the parking garage, Jared and I held each other and quietly cried together. Then, as I was driving home, it really hit me- the hysterical cry where your whole body is shaking and the only way to breath is by gasping for air. Then, a cry came from me that I had never heard before- a mourning cry. A pain so deep that I had never felt before.  I know many women who have had miscarriages, and I never understood why it was so difficult. I get it now. It's horrible. This baby was a part of me. I was literally connected to it for just over 3 months. I was attached to the baby inside of me... it was going to become our second child in April.  I don't know how I made it home with my blurred vision from the tears and my emotional state of mind, but I did. When I got home, I immediately re-read the lyrics to the song "Come Unto Jesus" and watched this video that goes along with it over and over again... The song really helped me feel close to Christ during that difficult day in my life.

A few days later, the doctor's office sent me to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I was supposed to take the medication the night before my surgery, and it was supposed to help the procedure go more smoothly. Apparently the prescription was a bit too strong for me, and I started to go into labor prematurely.  Thankfully my parents were able to take care of Kyler for us during this time. The Labor was the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my life. We barely made it to the hospital in time for the doctor to complete the process.

I said a prayer for comfort while I was being prepped for the surgery, and I really did feel that comfort when I woke up. I felt relieved that it was over, and at peace with what had happened. I kept an eternal perspective of things and my relationship with Christ became stronger than ever before.  When I prayed, I could literally feel that burden being lifted from me. I have never felt the power of prayer so strongly in my life.  Christ's Atonement is a miracle. It is real. I've felt it.

I truly feel that my tiny, precious, and perfect little baby really did "Come Unto Jesus" and is waiting for Jared and I to raise him/her in the millennium- because of the covenants that we have made in the holy temple that binds us and our children together for time in this life and all eternity under the covenant. I don't know what I would do without the knowledge I have of my Savior, and of His gospel here on the earth today, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Life isn't perfect, and I'm going to have trials, but I realize that I have a choice in how I react to them. I choose to become a better person, and to draw closer to my Savior for comfort. Because of this, my heart is full of happiness and truth. Jesus is the Christ, the son of God, my Redeemer, and the rock of my salvation. I'm not perfect, but I know that through Christ and his Atonement, I can become perfect, and return to live with Him and my family some day.


There you have it- the first part of our journey.  I will be posting a new part once every few weeks. If you want to show your support and follow along on this journey, click the button on the upper right hand side of my blog that says "join this site" you can do so publicly or anonymously. Thanks in advance for all of your love and support.

The Blue Light.

14 January 2014

I frequently get emails from people offering to pay me to advertise their products on my blog....this isn't one of those. Nobody is paying me. I just wanted to write about this product because I LOOOOVE this thing. It is called a Sleep Buddy (Kyler calls ours the blue light). It teaches little kids when it's time to stay in bed, and when it is okay to get out of bed. It is simple...whenever the blue light is on, your child has to stay in bed. When it turns off, they know that it is okay to get out of bed.  (or you can do it visa versa if you don't want a night light in their room).

About 5 or 6 months ago, Kyler went through this phase where he was waking up crazy early. He was going to bed at his normal time, but kept waking up earlier and earlier, and as a result he was tired and cranky all day. When it got to the point where he was running into our room at 5:00 in the morning I knew something had to be done. Whenever I put him back in bed, he would just come running out 15 minutes later, and that wasn't really giving any of us more sleep. Because he was/is too young to tell time, I researched some products online, and found this baby! It is easy to program, and it saves whatever times you want for bedtime and nap times. 

So now whenever he wakes up too early he will just look at the light, see that it is still on, and then roll over and go back to sleep- I know this because we had to share a room with him for 2 weeks in Utah and I watched it happen over and over again. Occasionally, if he wakes up and isn't tired enough to fall back asleep, he just sits quietly on his bed until his blue light turns off. We usually set ours for 7:20am (depending on what time he goes to bed)...unless it's Saturday...then it's more like 7:40 haha. Sometimes he will still sleep in until 8am though.  

After we purchased the Sleep Buddy, it took him 2 days to understand/remember the concept, and ever since then, it has worked like a charm. He likes it. Every morning whenever the light turns off he gets all excited and announces/sings "Blueeee light is off!" while running down the hall to our room. I love waking up to that.

There is a downside that I need to mention though, and that is the price. We got ours for about $40 on Amazon. I thought it was such a rip-off at first (it is just an alarm clock with a light instead of sound!) buuuut.... now I don't care how much it was. This thing allows the whole family to get more sleep. It was definitely worth it! The Blue Light ya'll. Get one. It will change your life.

Oh PS. 
I thought I would give a little preview of the post I will be sharing on Thursday night. The first sentence says:

"When do you think you guys are going to have another kid? Isn't Kyler already 3 now?"

I will be sharing my thoughts on this topic.
Stay tuned!

My Sunbeam

06 January 2014

Kyler is now a Sunbeam at church! Which means instead of going to a nursery class full of toys and toddlers ages 18 months- 3yrs... He gets to go to a primary class with the big kids! It's a huge deal to me. These past few months I always referred to him as "my toddler" when talking about him, because he was still in nursery. Now, I can't say that anymore. This boy is officially a "kid" in my book, and because I am a nerd and had to look up online when a child is officially not a toddler anymore - Wikipedia says a toddler is between the ages of 1-3 but not including 3. Link here if you are a Child Development nerd like me and want to read more about it haha.

I snapped these pictures before leaving for church yesterday. He has been such a goofball lately!

I love this little Sunbeam of mine. He really does make my day brighter :)

First post of the year! Welcome 2014~

04 January 2014

Hey friends! I feel like I haven't written on here in forever...whaaaat? It's 2014 now?! It's only been 5 days since my last post, but that's a long time for me to go without blogging! We've been busy getting re-adjusted to real life and regular routines this week. It's funny how vacations can do that to you. After I got home I was all whaaa? I have to wash dishes, cook meals, and clean again? Lame! After two weeks of vacation I was starting to get used to other people doing those things for me :)

I can't believe it is already January! Months ago, I told myself I would blog about the above tab titled "A Journey" once it was January and I had created a custom domain for my blog. Well, today I created my custom domain ( so I will be posting about the journey soon! More later!